Our Far Flung Correspondent in Louisiana

Tim Anderson reported in from his Parish in Northern Louisiana that because his bayou enjoys an elevation of 187' above sea level, there is little to fear from direct contact with the catastophic oil gush in the Gulf.
Life however remains rich in irony. Returning home from an errand in the Parish Seat, Tim happened across a neighbor plowing under one of his fields. Stopping to greet the friendly farmer, Tim was asked to take over the tractor, while its owner ate the lunch his wife had just delivered. Tim paused a moment to consider how much tractors have evolved from simple mechanical workhorses to giant electronic multi-taskers costing hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Nothing if not game, Our FFC clambored up into the air-conditioned, fully automatic, 60' wide beheometh, set the GPS and off down the soybean field he juggernauted. As he kept in constant radio contact with the amused farmer, Tim mused on all the different petroleum derived compounds neccessary to successful soybean farming in the twenty-first century. These included weed suppressants, seed coat dissolvers, growth acclerants, fertilizers, pesticides of various kinds, more weed killers and Monsanto knows what all to deliver the crop. And all the while, that self-same petroleum was now killing a very large swath of the Gulf Coast, including Tim's favorite barrier islands.
In the brief time the farmer required to masticate his sandwich and dill pickle and resume possession of his tractor, Tim had plowed under an incredible number of acres, belching diesel and seeding irony all the way.